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demonicXhalo
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Name: Alex(andra)
Country: United States
State: Texas
Metro: Austin
Birthday: 8/24/1988
Gender: Female
Interests: boys, camping, dancing, Disney, hanging out with friends, fishing, hugs, Italian food [or just food in general], kisses, love, marching band, Model UN, photography, piano, playing in the rain, poetry, reading, singing, shooting, shopping, Sock Posse, traveling, video games, volunteer work, waterskiing, WFC, writing
Expertise: Being better than you at everything, kthxbye.
Occupation: Student
Industry: School
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  demonicXhalo
Jabber: yea, jennifer, what IS a jabber?
Member Since:
1/7/2004
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| Dear Xanga,
Our meetings have been few and far in between lately, haven't they? Allow me to be candid. You've been good to me, really. We've been together for a [fine, not so] solid 1,079 days, but we had a good run, didn't we? I'll always cherish the memories. What I mean to say is; it's not you, it's me. I never meant to hurt you, but, well, we just weren't working out and I've met someone else. I hope you can find it in yourself to forgive me; you deserve someone better.
Sincerely,
Me | | |
| Wow.
It's been... over three months since I last updated? This has got to be some sort of record for me. I used to always say that when I hadn't posted in like, three days, but this is impressive, if I do say so myself. Not that I've weaned myself of weblogs, considering I'm addicted to Facebook like no other, and I refresh the QC page like three times a day even though I know he only updates once, but whatever, haha.
This post really serves no purpose except to 1] let the Xanga world (well, those of you that still exist on it) know that I haven't dropped off the face of the planet and 2] let the priveleged few know that they should check their protected posts.
I guess those two points alone make for a really boring and anticlimactic post, though. I'm also going to throw out there that:
... no, no, I lied, I won't. Three months is far too long to compensate for in a single, intended-to-be-short xanga post. Ha. How do you feel about that?
But if #2 applied to you, any feedback would be great.
Yeah.
[If anything else, since the above was all so vague, Relient K's "When I Go Down" embodies exactly how I feel, but "For The Moments I Feel Faint" makes me feel, if temporarily, a little less scared.]
When I Go Down
I'll tell you flat out
It hurts so much to think of this
So from my thoughts I will exclude
The very thing that
I hate more than everything is
The way I'm powerless
To dictate my own moods
I've thrown away
So many things that could've been much more
And I just pray
My problems go away if they're ignored
But that's not the way it works
No that's not the way it works
When I go down, I go down hard
And I take everything I've learned
And teach myself some disregard
When I go down It hurts to hit the bottom
And of the things that got me there
I think, if only I had fought them
If and when I can
Clear myself of this clouded mind
I'll watch myself settle down
Into a place where
Peace can search me out and find
That I'm so ready to be found...
For The Moments I Feel Faint
I throw up my hands
"Oh, the impossibilities"
Frustrated and tired
Where do I go from here?
Now I'm searching for the confidence
I've lost so willingly
Overcoming these obstacles is
overcoming my fear
I think I can't, I think I can't
But I think You can, I think You can
I think I can't, I think I can't
But I think You can, I think You can
Gather my insufficiencies and
place them in Your hands...
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| I'm 18! I know all of the rest of you have been 18 forever, but suddenly, I feel vaguely old, haha. I guess 18 is just one of those benchmark birthdays.
So yesterday, the day of my actual birthday, I still had to finish out orientation. I went to the Plan II advising session for the course lottery and I got both of my top choices for World Lit and a Philosophy class, woohoo! I didn't get what I wanted for Logic, but oh well. I got really excited about my schedule for awhile until I realized I have an 8 AM class, but whatever, it's still pretty baller:
Mondays:
8 AM - 9 AM :: CH301(1) Principles of Chemistry [Unique 54475]
10 AM - 11 AM :: TC310 [PHL 313Q] Logic and Scientific Reasoning [Unique 44020]
11 AM - 12 PM :: BIO311C Introductory Biology [Unique 51585]
12 PM - 1 PM :: back to Logic for the discussion section
1 PM - 2 PM :: back to Biology
Tuesdays/Thursdays:
11 AM - 12:30 :: E603A Plan II World Lit [Unique 34425]
12:30 PM - 2 PM :: TC301 Right and Wrong in Politics [Unique 44450]
Wednesdays/Fridays:
8 AM - 9 AM :: CH301(1) Principles of Chemistry [Unique 54475]
10 AM - 11 AM :: TC310 [PHL 313Q] Logic and Scientific Reasoning [Unique 44020]
11 AM - 12 PM :: BIO311C Introductory Biology [Unique 51585]
Imagine if I didn't have that 8 AM Chem class, haha. I suppose I could always take a nap in the hour I have between that and Logic. Well, let me know if we have anything together, darlings! Apparently World Lit is already an Alex/Megan/Mauro party, haha. Oh, and I hope move-in is going well for everyone.
I ended up being done by like 10 AM, though, with registration, paying for tuition, getting my student ID done, and the whole caboodle. I went to visit Brian at his supplemental room in Jester West, and now I'm kind of wondering if supplemental would be better. His room is huge!
Then Zach and I somehow thought it'd be a good idea [well, he thought it would be fun] to see The Descent. Yeah, BAD IDEA. I didn't even see most of it; I was too busy cowering in a little ball of freaked-out misery, haha. The only other two people in the theater were like this 50-some-odd year old couple, who glared at us when the movie was over, probably mostly because I kept shrieking [involuntarily, I swear!] and Zach'd go, "Aw, shit!" or "Ohwhatthefuck?!" during particularly gory scenes, haha.
Thank God the movie was in the middle of the day, so I was able to recuperate while hanging out with Kristin. She introduced me to Which Wich, and then we bonded and girltalked over SnoBeach.
Then we met up with Amalia to see... WIDEAWAKE! They were playing a short free show at Freddie's Place on South First for Mix 94.7's LiveStrong campaign; lucky for me, LanAnh actually listens to the radio and tipped me off. They played their new song "Live Strong," and then "Bigger Than Ourselves," "Stay," "Not So Far Away," and "She Likes Purple." They dedicated "She Likes Purple" to Brigette from the show, because it was her birthday. Too bad I wasn't ballsy enough to ask if they'd play "Everyday Rockstar" or "Better Than One" because it was mine, too. I did, however, get to meet them, and they all wished me a happy birthday!
Yeah! I was pretty excited, haha. I felt hella fangirly, but whatever, it was totally worth it. Too bad a certain someone took all his Wideawake CDs to Waco, so I couldn't get them signed or anything...
Then I moved in today, which wasn't nearly as exciting as I thought it would be. My parents were being douches the entire time, over the stupidest shit. Even when I just said something like I didn't like the wooden chairs they provide so I wanted to bring my swivel from home, they were like, "No, you shouldn't get special treatment, you're here to study, not to party..." Seriously, WTF? Yes, I'm going to college for an education, but I'm living in a dorm, not a freaking prison. They also don't see the point of putting up posters, or having a TV, rug, curtains, etc. My parents make no sense sometimes.
BUT Shan left me a birthday card on my door, and I just now realized $20 were folded into it. I seriously just met him at orientation yesterday, too! Is it just me, or is the "making friends in college will be hard" preconception total crap? Also, my Aristophanes book came in, Meera and David are already back in Austin, I just had a Red Bull, and my parents are leaving for the weekend soon. Things just keep getting better and better!
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| All this going-back-to-school business hasn't really sunk in yet, despite all of the going-away events and pseudo dorm shopping and stuff. I feel like things are happening, and while I'm not really missing out, I'm not really partaking in it, either. Everything feels vaguely fuzzy and surreal...
Or maybe that's just me coming off my meds for getting my wisdom teeth out, haha.
I went in for my post-op check-up today, and yes, I got the little syringe doodad to swish stuff out of the holes in the back of my mouth. It feels really weird, but slowly, yet surely, I'm regaining my ability to eat, smile, and laugh. Yay!
So I'm going to orientation tomorrow and Thursday, and moving in bright and early Friday morning. Meep! I'm a little nervous, but mostly excited, I think.
Also, my parents are going to Brady [yeah, seriously, "Where?"] this weekend for some corporate social event. They're leaving Friday night and coming home sometime Sunday, so I'm coming home to stay with my little brother, but it's also my birthday weekend, so we'll see... | | |
| Holy shit, my 18th birthday is in exactly one week o.O
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